Why Wonder?

I was talking with a group of ladies the other day and we were asked if we ever wonder what people say about us when we are not around or what they think about us in their heads? We all answered “yes.”

Isn’t it interesting how other people’s opinions, perceptions, thoughts, feelings—all of that internal stuff—can come to matter so much to us? The degree to which it matters may vary, but many of us carry around this burden of insecurity more often than we care to.

Does any of this sound familiar:

1. “Are the flaws I see in myself as evident to others as they are to me?”
2. “Am I thought of as fat or fine?”
3. “Do I look skinny or sickly?”
4. “Do they think I’m pretty or ugly?”
5. “Personality-wise: am I considered nice or stuck up?”
6. “I wonder if they noticed my acne, blemishes, thinning hair, and stretch marks.”
7. “Does she like me or just tolerate me?”
8. “Do they find me to be too assertive, mean, and blunt?”
9. “Am I thought of as a coward with no backbone?”
10. “Do I draw people in or push them away?”

. . . and the list could go on and on!

. . . and how about that time we actually asked a person what they thought about us, they told us, and we didn’t believe them. Or we did believe them, and they were actually lying to spare our feelings?

So sad!

But the good news is we are not alone in our struggle! There is hope for us!

Moses, when called to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, wondered how others would respond to his slow speech and perceived lack of eloquence (Exodus 4:10). He was concerned that they would question his authority and ask “who sent you!?” (Exodus 3:13). Jeremiah wondered if the people would consider him to be too young (Jeremiah 1:6) and Timothy’s insecurities were evident in his timidity and shyness (1 Corinthians 16:10).

It’s natural to care what others think about us at times. We can’t control every single thought that comes into our heads, but we can impact how long that thought stays in our heads and how we respond to it. One way to see victory in our struggle with this type of insecurity is to change our focus.

 

The Lord changed Moses’ focus by reminding him that He is the one who gave him his mouth (Exodus 4:11). Jeremiah’s focus was changed when God assured him that He had given His words to Jeremiah and appointed him over the nations and kingdoms (Jeremiah 1:9-10).  Paul was used to change Timothy’s focus by sharing with him that “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power love and a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).

During those moments of insecurity when I am wallowing in all my concerns about how I’m thought of by others (real people or that imaginary audience of critics in my head)—the real question is, if I actually found out what they honestly think, what would I do with that information? Would I breathe easy believing that now that I have all I need to move forward—change the negative stuff and polish up the positive stuff?

That would be me living to please others: another problem!

At best, all other people can provide for us is their flawed, finite opinion-based assessments. God, on the other hand, has provided for us His perfect, infinite wisdom-based Truth. Therefore, let’s focus on pleasing our Creator not His creation.

Why wonder what they think when you can know that He says:

1. You were created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27).
2. You were flawlessly knit together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13).
3. You are a branch of the true vine (John 15:1, 5).
4. You are a friend of Jesus (John 15:15).
5. You are chosen (Ephesians 1:4).
6. You are holy (Ephesians 1:4).
7. You are blameless (Ephesians 1:4).
8. You are redeemed (Ephesians 1:7).
9. You are forgiven (Ephesians 1:7).
10. You are complete (Colossians 2:10).

. . . and the list could go on and on!