That Tone

I work in a retail setting. Translation: I serve the public and on any given day any given person with any given personality, attitude, hang-up, mood, or body odor is more than welcomed to grace me with their presence. For the most part, my clientele is nothing short of lovely. There are, of course, exceptions. My recent encounter was one of those exceptions.

A lady asked for me to fill only one of the two prescriptions she dropped off. “Yes, ma’am,” I said. Then she asked me (and I use the term “asked” loosely) a series of questions that led to her deciding she wanted me to fill both of the prescriptions she dropped off. “Yes, ma’am,” I said. I finish up, ring up the two prescriptions at the register, tell her the total, and she is shocked!

“TEN DOLLARS!?” she exclaimed.

“Yes, ma’am. They are $5 each,” I explained.

This lady said, “Why did you fill both prescriptions?”

“UHHHH…You told me to,” I answered.

“No, I did not! I told you to let me see what the pills look like first BEFORE you fill it!” she dared to say.

“No, you did not,” I said.

“Yes, I did.”

“No, you did not.”

Refusing to continue sounding like my two adolescent daughters, I closed my mouth and let her go on to explain how “we must have just misunderstood each other.” As she continues her rant, I took a deep breath, opened up the bottle of pills to let her see them, and she said, “Okay, they are small, I’ll take them both.”

“Yes, ma’am, no problem.” I smiled, placed the meds back in the bag, and asked for her signature. Then she asked me for something to use so that she doesn’t have to make direct contact with the stylus we have to collect electronic signatures because “the flu is going around.” I smiled, handed her a piece of excess receipt paper, and we completed the transaction.

She then said this right here: “It’s a good thing you have a good personality. Usually when people are rude, the other person gets rude right back with them.”

WOW!

Now, I thought many things in that moment. First of all, I thought, “Oh, so you KNOW you are being real extra right now??”

But, most refreshing, was this thought: “she noticed.”

Noticed what?

She noticed that our interaction, given all of the areas of conflict and “misunderstanding,” went differently than she’d perhaps experienced in the past or than she expected to experience now.

This was no accident! I’d recently studied some passages of scripture that highlight the impact of the tone in which we address others. The verse that stood out to me the most was Proverbs 25:15b,

“. . . a gentle tongue can break a bone.”

This verse is telling us to speak the truth and to coat truth with a gentle tone. Contrary to what I had always believed, a gentle tone is powerful. It is so powerful that it can and will “break bone!”

She noticed the gentleness. We both did. It was too obvious to not mention. Too potent to go unrecognized.

With that tone came patience, a refusal to give into the flesh, the opportunity for the Holy Spirit to guide the tongue, the choice to “let her have it,” the realization that my “right” to prove I was “right” did not trump the opportunity to offer the truth coated with a layer of gentleness of tone. That’s power I was surprised to find demonstrated in a decision to be gentle versus harsh.

I am now challenged to see this power at work again. I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before another opportunity presents itself. I pray I continue take God at His Word and remember that tone does matter.

Will you join me?

That “lady” in your life will show up soon, as complicated as ever! As you interact with her, before you say what you used to say, take a deep breath and remember, “… a gentle tongue [with a gentle tone] breaks the bone.”

She’ll notice.

You’ll notice.

… and so will He.