“You are the expert on you!”
“Wow . . . Ok!”
That was a snippet of a dialogue between my therapist and me several years ago. (Hey, now… as tempting as it may be, let’s not try to figure out why I went to a therapist. Let’s stay focused on the message at hand ;))
I had never considered myself an expert on anything, especially when it came to making decisions for myself. I always needed a panel of constituents to consult with before making a move. Any move! I dare not, as a college graduate, wife, mother, and professional, make a move without taking a vote. I dare not risk upsetting her feelings or going against their tradition. Never mind the fact that I had a mind of my own. What mattered most was me using my mind to craft outcomes that fit what was in their minds.
Turns out I was wrong! I realized during my time with this God-sent therapist, that I was not only enough, but I was the expert when it comes living out my own life. I did not need permission from others, validation from others, or the approval of others. All of my “may I…,” “tell me you like me,” and “is this what you want” tendencies could actually become less dominating.
The moment I heard her say I was “the expert” on me was not the moment things changed. The moment I believed that I was “the expert” on me was not when things changed. It wasn’t until I heard it, believed it, and acted on that belief that I noticed a change.
Can you relate?
Wait . . .
Is it me or doesn’t it seem unlikely that everyone is “the expert” on themselves? Certainly, there is someone out there who needs to be helped or guided! Perhaps you’ve decided to err on the side of caution and assume you are that “someone.”
Well, yes, someone needs to be helped or guided—even experts like you! What I learned is there is a difference between being helped and guided and being controlled and passive.
What’s the difference?
The former recognizes your expertise and serves to compliment and sharpen it while the latter disregards your expertise and blinds you to its existence.
That day when she told me, despite what I had come to believe, I was the expert, she was not saying that I had all the answers. She was saying that I know myself better than anyone else in my life. I was, therefore, the most qualified person to decide what moves I should make. I had all I needed to think and respond to any situation. If failure or disappointment met me on the other side of a decision, I’d recognize it as such, get up, learn from my mistake, and move forward. If success met me on the other side of my decision, I’d recognize it as such, keep it up, learn from my success, and move forward.
Either way, it would be my decision and my steps forward.
Are you ready to make a decision? Are you ready to take some of your own steps forward?
Hear me and believe me: YOU are the expert. Yes, YOU!
Now act like one!
“I’ve written to warn you about those who are trying to deceive you. But they’re no match for what is embedded deeply within you—Christ’s anointing, no less! You don’t need any of their so-called teaching. Christ’s anointing teaches you the truth on everything you need to know about yourself and him, uncontaminated by a single lie. Live deeply in what you were taught.” 1 John 2:26-27 The Message (MSG)